I believe that we’re all given a baby grand piano called life. We’re the same in that we all have the same black and white keys. What differs is how each of us adjust the tension of our strings, how we develop (or not) our level of skill and talent, and which combination of keys we use to make our soundtracks. Some of us play with fluid graceful movements and others bang each note out with a staccato pulse. Here’s a peek at my sheet music.
I realize that the things that don’t feel good are not necessarily bad. I no longer immediately resort to the blues, and any more, I never ask “why me?”. Instead I ask for the openness to learn more about myself and grow through my trials. For my good fortunes, I say “Why not me” and pay it forward as quickly as I can. Both I approach with a tune of gratitude.
I get jazzed much more often than I get annoyed, or aggravated. I love untethered – apart from any religious and legal constructs. I don’t automatically believe everything I think or feel. When I hurt, I don’t hide it. I say ”OUCH!”- out loud. I seek out the reason I hurt first, then those who hurt me.
I have thrown out everything on my bucket list. There’s no place that I’d rather be than the present. I don’t fixate on all I haven’t done yet. I find no reason to live in hopes that I might get to do certain things or that they will be as fantastic as I create in my imaginings. Now I am open to the opportunities as they present themselves.
My work here has absolutely nothing to do with my job. I travel on an unlikely harmony of confidence and fear, creating the ultimate composition of courage. Short on time, I see no reason for preludes. I am at times a street performer playing Beethoven’s 5th and other times, a famous composer playing Chopsticks. Status serves no purpose here.
I have not silenced my detractors. I am simply growing increasingly deaf to them as I age. Not everyone likes my “act” and my performance is sometimes off-key. It’s okay. At 46, I’ve decided that I really like my chorus. The genre I choose to play at any point in time has little to do with fan feedback or popularity. Happiness is a choice. Joy is my birthright.
I play for me.